Grandma Tales

We got drums.

While it is technically correct that the drums belong to Jono, and that Jon paid for most of them, and that he is the only one who uses them, and that drums would not be in our basement except for Jon's lifelong desire to beat on something legal, still -- we got them.

All of us. All of us, and the neighbors. All of us, and the community. All of us, and all those who drive by on River Road. We all have drums now. All God's children got drums. Drums are loud.

Grandma got drums. Although I'm not sure if she really gets that she got them. The drums sit under her room. Because of her hearing aids, the full aural equation of sound does not reach her eardrums, but something does. She doesn't know that it's drums. But she knows it's loud. She knows it's Jon. She knows she doesn't particularly like it. Especially when Dr. Phil or Bill O'Reilly or Wheel of Fortune are on the TV. And it especially annoys her when Jon competes with the Golden Girls.

So a couple of days ago, Grandma brought out her TV remote. She often forgets now what the thing does, and she mixes it up with the other remotes within her reach -- a remote for her lift chair, a remote for her electric heating blanket on the lift chair. You can imagine trying to find O'Reilly and having your chair lift you up and out instead. Or thinking that you just cranked up the heat, only to have Dr. Phil shouting at the top of his lungs. It's confusing. So she brought out the TV remote for a consultation.

"What's this thing do?"

"It's the remote for your TV, Mom."

"How can I get it to stop?"

"You mean turn off the TV?"

"No. I mean Jono. What do I press to get it to stop?"

"You mean the drums?"

"That noise! How can I turn it off?!"  She looked at the remote, pressing buttons and listening to see if anything happened. Some people might do this to be funny. Grandma was being funny, but not on purpose. She thought there must be a button that worked on Jon and his drums.

The great thing about hearing aids is that you can take them out. We found the button. For Grandma. I don't have hearing aids. Yet.

(Luckily, the kid is doing great with the sticks. There's been more dancing in this house since we got drums. Dancing is good.)