In two weeks I will be attending the Epic Fail Pastors Conference.
I know. It sounds bad.
I’m thinking there are other pastors going, too, but I haven’t heard from them. I assume they’re too embarrassed to let the news get out. After all, no one wants to claim to God and everybody that they are failures. Especially not in epic proportions.
But I’m also thinking those other guys are probably trying to write something just like this--some blog or newsletter or email in Constant Contact in which they will try to explain to their congregations and friends and enemies why they’re attending a conference with that name. I’m thinking we all want to make everyone feel quite OK with the fact that we registered months ago, that we’ve been looking forward to it, that we’ve done all the homework that Epic Fail PC has asked us to do, and got it done early. We all want to make sure everyone knows one thing about us . . .
I DON’T CONSIDER MYSELF A FAILURE. REALLY. I WAS JUST CURIOUS ABOUT THIS CONFERENCE. THAT IS ALL.
Forthwith and forsooth, two lists:
Not Reasons Why I’m Attending Epic Fail PC:
- It’s not because I’m a whining, hang-dog, persecuted, beat-up pastor.
- It’s not because I’m failing. At least I don’t think so.
- It’s not because I’ve gone to the dark side.
- It’s not because my congregation doesn’t pay me enough. They’re very good to me.
- It’s not because I’m having a mid-life crisis. That’s so yesterday.
- It’s not because I love staying in a hotel room alone.
- It's not because I enjoy leaving my wife to handle things at home.
- It’s not because I think the name “Epic Fail Pastors Conference” is about the coolest thing I’ve heard in a very long time. Although it is.
Why I’m Attending the Epic Fail PC:
- Because self-reliance kills ministry. And pastors.
- Because I know who I am.
- Because God has not seemed to call me to mega-church success. (Sorry if you were hoping otherwise).
- Because I sometimes frustrate Jesus’ headship with my own willful plans.
- Because I’m weary of programs and strategy and gimmicks and methods.
- Because pastors get pastors.
- Because I’m only strong in Christ when I fully realize and own my weakness.
- Because I’ve been to the flash and smoke and strobe and glitz and big-hired-gun conferences. I like them. Just not what I need right now.
- Because the day I read about Epic Fail PC, I nearly lost it.
- Because Paul wrote these words in a letter to a church: “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.”
So, I’m going. I’ll tell you what I think once I’m there, and when it’s over.
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." — Thomas A. Edison