Fabricating Christmas

The big debate gets hotter every year: Will Kmart be able to say "Christmas?" Will the Red Kettles show up in front of Trader Joes? Will the Menorah be larger than the Manger in front of City Hall? Will the neighborhood association police complain about my front-yard, light-up, blow-up, life-like, genuine, animated, musical nativity scene?

Here are some choices for your own nativity idol:

This one has stuffed Joseph and Mary, stuffed angel, even a stuffed star.

I like this portly group -

Weight Watchers does Christmas.

Next year, a little less ham,

and let up on the egg nog, people.

Well, here we go. See what a little self control can do? Skinny, super-model Xmas. Not too much mutton on that scrawny lamb. And I wouldn't advise Mary to ride the donkey home - maybe she should carry it.

Sweet babushka holidays.

Here's a wonderful snow globe nativity. Shake it up and it will snow, just like it did in Bethlehem.

Also, it plays music. You can tell by the little music notes.







Here's the big one. Inflates. Lights up. Guaranteed to show the world you're a Christian. You can put it right next to blow-up Grinch, blow-up Homer Simpson, and blow-up Big Bird, all celebrating this holy time of year.


Don't get angry. I have a nice creche in my home for which I paid good money. And we set it out every year. And it does mean something. But it doesn't "Keep Christ In Christmas."

I wonder if we shouldn't just pack it in. Give up. Let the merchandisers have Christmas, and we can take our own celebration back. Let's do a little research, come up with a birth date for Jesus sometime in the summer, say August 4, and move the whole spiritual party to that end of the calendar.

Joseph had a dream, wherein he was instructed to transport Jesus from Bethlehem to Egypt to protect the babe from the politically correct slaughter that was going to take place. The goal of King Herod's decree? Obliterate Jesus.

So, in keeping with the spirit of the season, I've had a dream. I was told to move Jesus from December 25 to August 4, in order to protect him; protect him from Christmas. And before you nod your head and point a finger at some ACLU lawsuit and claim moral superiority, ask yourself these questions:

• Do my children really know the difference, or is it all just a Santa Claus tale?
• Do I make a point to pull away the cultural trappings of Jesus' birth and face off with the reality of incarnation? At least sometime during the celebration? [Have you ever seen a baby born? It's not pretty. It's dramatic and honest.]
• Do I want the Government, Walmart, Madison Ave., Willow Creek, Southern Baptists, or any other human agency to nativitize Jesus?

This year I will celebrate Christmas. And I will celebrate Jesus' birth. Not necessarily at the same time.