Grandma Tales

The Clinic is not supposed to be about my mom, but about grace-stuff. But Mom--Grandma--lives with us, and like any two-year-old or ninety-two-year-old, she often is the center of the house. Lately, Grandma's dementia has been deteriorating, and the results are funny, sad, and weird. Some of it makes us wonder . . .

In the last week, Mom has heard singing. It's a man's voice. He's singing gospel songs. The other night she came out of her room after being in bed for a couple hours.

"Do you hear that?" she called out from the hall.

"HEAR WHAT, GRANDMA?" I shouted because she takes her ears (hearing aids) out when she goes to bed.

"Do you hear him singing?"

"WHO?"

"That man!"

She had me go into her room, and pointed to one of the windows. She told me he was singing "Oh, That Will Be Glory For Me."

This morning he was singing again; this time, "Silent Night." Grandma sang along with him while we ate breakfast.

Tonight, after being in bed for twenty minutes, Grandma came out. "Do you hear that?"

"DO YOU HEAR THE SINGING AGAIN, GRANDMA?"

"Yes! I can't go to sleep! Can you hear it?"

"NO GRANDMA, I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING!"

"Well, come in here!"

We walked to her room. "Do you hear him singing?"  And she sang along.

"And he walks with me and he talks with me, And he tells me I am his own . . ."

I continued to try to explain that the music was coming from her head. I told her to just go to sleep. Since she couldn't hear me, I shouted and repeated. Even when she heard me she didn't understand at all. She went back to bed and I closed the door.

Ten minutes later, she was out again, complaining about the singing. We went through the whole thing again, and I went back to her room.

"Can't you hear that?!" she asked, and waved toward the window. She was quite aggravated.

"MOM, I CAN'T HEAR THE MUSIC. NOBODY ELSE HEARS THE MUSIC. IT'S JUST IN YOUR HEAD."

I was standing three feet away from her, and still I had to repeat myself. She couldn't hear me for anything. But she heard the song, and she sang, "And the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known."

"Well, what should I do?! That's going to go on all night!"

"JUST ENJOY IT, GRANDMA. ENJOY THE MUSIC AND YOU'LL FALL ASLEEP AND THEN IT WILL STOP." She rolled her eyes, got a peeved look on her face, and shrugged her shoulders.

"OK!  Good night!"

She hasn't been out again, but the night is young.

And about the singing - Don't even ask.

Grandma Tales

FAQs

After flipping every light switch in her room, in the room next door, and the next one: "How do I turn off this TV?"

After waking up at 10:00 a.m.: "Is it time to get up?"

After mixing two cans of Campbell's soup, one Bean With Bacon and one Chicken Noodle, without water: "Is there some salt I can put in here?"

"Is this Sunday?"
"Is this Saturday?"
"Is this Friday?"  (You get the picture).

"Is tomorrow hair day?"

"So, I'm going to have to be all alone all day long, the whole day?" (Grandma's hardly ever alone).

Peeking out of her room at 5:00 a.m. (and 5:23, and 5:58), "Are we going to church today?"

This is getting rough.

Grandma Tales

We arrived home from eight days in S. Ca. where we mourned the loss of Linda's brother, Tim. We pulled into the driveway at 3:15 a.m., and caught two hours sleep before going off to work.

We had been concerned about Grandma's reaction to our being away. She had wanted to go with us, which is just not possible anymore. And she's always extremely anxious about being at home when we're away, even though Jeremy and Jon were both with her.

That evening we were talking at dinner, sharing all the stories and details of our trip. In the middle of the discussion, Grandma exclaimed, "You were gone?!"

"Yep."

"When did you leave?"

"Over a week ago."

"When did you get back?"

"This morning, very early."

"How long were you gone?"

"Over a week."

"Where did you go?"

"We went out to California."

"Well, how did you get there?"

"We took an airplane."

"Who took care of us?!"

"Jeremy and Jon stayed here with you."

"Well, what did you go out there for?!"

"Linda's brother died, so we went out for the funeral."

"He died?!"

"Yes."

"How many people were there?"

"About 250 people came to the funeral."

"Did anyone ask about me?!"

After some more questions, we ate our dessert, and continued to share some stories. After about three minutes, Grandma exclaimed, "You were gone?!"

(For the rest, please refer to above dialog).

Hot News From Cincinnati

Big Jesus was struck by lightening and burned to the ground. Can we say, "BIG IRONY?"

Check out the news and watch the video here.

I wrote about Big Jesus in Grace Clinic a few years ago.

Sadly, the pastor of Solid Rock Church says they will rebuild Big Jesus. Maybe they'll use something less fire-enhancing than Styrofoam and perhaps add a few lightning rods.

In the meantime, be extra careful driving Interstate 75 in Southern Ohio. It seems to me Big Jesus is not doing a very good job of protecting the area.